|
|
October 2, 2018
May 13, 2018
Motherhood – A Grand Tradition of Ups...and Downs
Motherhood – A Grand Tradition
of Ups...and Downs
Don't
Get Stuck in the Downs
Each
of you have been in my heart and in my mind this past week leading up to
Mother's Day.
I have
been studying Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s April 1997 General Conference
talk, “Because
She is a Mother” this past week. While studying this talk,
the Spirit taught me so many truths. Of course, I wanted
to share them with all the amazing mothers I know! Especially
my Mothers Who Know sisters!
This
week in our 9am Mothers Who Know meeting
we discussed how to keep a truthful perspective
about how we are doing in our stewardships as mothers. It is challenging
to not assume we are failing when our child is behaving contrary
to our values and God's commandments.
So, when we are
being celebrated for our efforts as mothers, we feel the evidence is
overwhelming that the last thing we should be comfortable with is the results of
those efforts. This can only be made worse as we hear talks, see videos, and
listen to songs that highlight glorious insightful successes of other mothers.
Add to
this the tactic of our enemy satan to fog the truth
and fill us with lies. He uses our obvious and evident
messy failure at our
house to convince us into literally hating Mother’s
Day.
Consider what’s really going on
here. Is there truth behind our misery or are we being deceived?
Elder
Holland shares:
“Sometimes the decision of a child or a grandchild will break
your heart. Sometimes expectations won’t immediately be met. Every mother and
father worries about that. Even that beloved and wonderfully
successful parent President Joseph F. Smith pled, ‘Oh! God, let me not lose my
own.’ That is every parent’s cry, and in it is something of every parent’s
fear. But no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You
have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children
will call your name blessed, just like those generations of foremothers before
you who hoped your same hopes and felt your same fears.”
Consider the disappointment of some of those
mothers before us. Elder Holland points out:
“ours is the grand tradition of Eve, the mother of all
the human family, the one who understood that she and Adam had to fall in order
that “men [and women] might be” and that there would be joy.”
As Elder Holland puts it; “ours
is the grand tradition of these noble mothers”. This tradition includes both great success and great pain. Ups
and downs!
Eve was
a mother who had some serious messes at her house. Her
son Cain listened to satan more than God, killed his
brother Abel and then pledged his allegiance to satan and
served him in darkness. For a mother, this would be devastatingly painful.
The
mothers of the sons of Helaman sent
their young, inexperienced sons off to war to fight a fierce enemy they knew
very well. They understood how much the Laminates hated those they
sought to kill, because they had lived among them and once thought as
they thought and lived as they lived. Miraculously none of these
sons were lost but they had to see all their sons wounded, some of them
with very deep wounds. This could cause a mother high levels of shame and
regret if she were one of the
mothers whose sons wounds were so deep that each time she
looked at him she was reminded by the handicap he lived with - of
what he gave up for her to be safe.
Sariah, the
mother of Laman and Lemuel, had some pretty
unbelieving, disobedient, disrespectful, grumpy sons who had such bad
tempers they would consider beating, tying up or killing their
brother when they were mad. I can just imagine the tears that welled up
in her eyes as they would sing their day’s version of “There is Beauty All
Around, When There’s Love at Home” for Family Home
Evening. I'm sure she would have wondered in
frustration and overwhelm; “What else can I do? I’ve tried every way I can
think of to teach them that in our family ‘we don’t hit…we use our words,’
but they just won’t listen.”
Mary, the
mother of Jesus, had to watch her perfect loving son be publicly disrespected,
arrested, tortured, beaten, mocked and belittled and
finally, brutally murdered right before her eyes. How incredibly
tormenting and painful to a mother's heart…her very soul.
Heavenly
Mother had to watch countless numbers of her
children turn away from their Father and seek to destroy His plan for our
happiness. She had to watch as one of her most distinguished sons –
Lucifer - used his influence to deceive his brothers and sisters,
taking advantage of their vulnerabilities, instilling doubt, and
filling them with fear. I’m sure Her mother heart broke
as She considered his motive of wanting to have honor and glory. I
can’t help but wonder what Her council might have sounded like as She
attempted to guide him, yet understood that nothing She said or
did would ultimately dissuade him from mis-using his agency.
The
kind of conversations She and Father must have had before Father had to
cast them out of His presence. The kind of yearning and heart
ache She had after they had to leave and what Her heart, in
all Her motherly love, must still feel as she watches the casualties
of war continue, the truth that 1/3 of her children will never experience
anything that The Father has promised.
I
think it would be safe to say that THE VERY BEST OF MOTHERS
had really big messes in their families and experienced the
heart ache and sadness we feel when our children struggle or
fail in painful ways.
Get
ready, tune in – sarcasm to follow: Maybe instead of being filled
with shame and sadness on Mother’s Day we can embrace
the tradition of the noble mothers before us…Living the tradition of the
good, the bad, and the ugly… LOL. 😊 We
are living every mother's dream since the beginning of time.
Accepting the ups and the downs with courage and faith!
Seriously. Consider
how absurd it is to think that only the mothers who break from tradition and
seem to have only “awesome” at their house are good mothers. What
if we were to embrace that sticking to tradition is
Heavenly
Father’s plan. As we - like
those mothers who went before are keeping the
tradition of believing in Heavenly Father’s great plan as we
honor agency. We are standing and fighting here just as we did in
the pre-existence for the cause of Christ. When we have pain in
our mothering and see evidence of our less than perfect results as our children
work the plan, our perspective needn't be “I hate Mother’s Day because
all I can see is my failure.” Or “I hate Mother’s Day because it
makes me feel so sad at my children’s failures to follow God’s plan.” Or
“I avoid going to church on Mother’s Day and warn all near me to not
celebrate me because I’d rather isolate myself in a dark corner and focus on my
wounds of shame that satan convinced me I should have.”
Instead, Elder
Holland explains a brighter perspective when he said;
“may I say to mothers
collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing
terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility
is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows
that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the
circle of the omniscient.”
Then
he points out what we can do to embrace the tradition
of noble mothers. In summary:
·
Strive to love God and live the gospel
·
Plead for that guidance and comfort of
the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful;
·
Go to the temple to both make and
claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman can make in this
world;
·
Show others, including your children,
the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show
you;
·
Try your best to be the best parent
you can be
...“If you do these
things you will have done all that a human being can do and all
that God expects you to do.”
“Yours is the work of
salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you
are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort,
however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.
Remember, remember all
the days of your motherhood: ‘Ye have not come thus far save it were by the
word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of
him who is mighty to save.’
Rely on Him. Rely on Him
heavily. Rely on Him forever. And ‘press forward with a steadfastness in
Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.’
You are doing God’s work.
You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you,
even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging.
Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some
embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of
the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and
wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be
of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.’ And it will make your
children whole as well.”
Fellow
moms, I invite you to study this article as the Mother’s Day gift
it is to a wounded mother’s heart. I invite you to allow
His light to wash away the darkness the adversary
is deceiving you with. How about we give ourselves the
huge Mother’s Day gift of celebrating that we are the CRUSHER.
Satan is just a bruiser. He has no power over us unless we give it to
him.
Take back your power by
celebrating your efforts and all the heart you have given to keep
with tradition and remain
in the truth of your divine identity and purpose. We were never meant to
be perfect at our mothering job. Our divine identity and
purpose is not to be a Savior for our children – they already have
one. The way we truly honor our Father, His son - our Lord
and Redeemer – and our foremothers is to believe in ourselves and
our children; because the everlasting tradition is that even though
we may struggle with our stewardship as a mother
from time to time…God never ceases to be God and we know:
“HE LIVES TO COMFORT ME
WHEN FAINT, HEAR MY SOUL’S COMPLAINT, WIPE AWAY MY TEARS, COMFORT ALL MY
FEARS… “
Don’t
break with tradition! Honor
the eternal promises that are ours because of Christ!
Celebrate the privilege of being a Mother Who
Knows, knows that she walks with God and knows that her work helps in bringing
about His work and His glory - through the ups and the downs!
I honor
you as the divine women each of you are.
Together in
the fight!
With love,
Karen
December 22, 2017
A Christmas Message to all Mothers Who Know
I
want to wish you a very Merry Christmas from my home to yours. How wonderful it would be if I could open my
door and invite you in to my entry way with a hug and a heartfelt; “Thank you
for coming, Merry Christmas;” and express my love and appreciation for you.”
If
this beautiful daydream were to come true and we were to spend some time
together, I’m sure at some point I would have the opportunity to show you my
favorite holiday decoration…My simple, but awesomely special Nativity.
It is so special
to me because each piece has been created and handmade by my husband over the
years. It is unique and one of a kind,
made by someone’s hands and heart I appreciate and love very much.
I
would want to pick up the first piece my husband gave me years ago to show you
how much I love it. The figure of Mary
cradling baby Jesus in her arms and holding him softly up to her face, so their
cheeks were touching is beautiful and so meaningful to me.
Sisters, how
often have we done this with our tiny ones.
I’m sure you can recall as I can the special, even sacred feelings of
sweet peace and joy that filled your heart and mind as you considered your love
and dedication to your child as you held them close to you.
I have often wondered
and pondered about Mary, especially at Christmas time. I try to imagine her experience and feelings
as she heard a heavenly angel tell her she was blessed among women and ask her
to be the mother of Christ our Savior…her
Savior.
My ponderings
about Mary were enlarged when Elder L. Whitney Clayton said the following in
the April General Conference of this year.
“Mary had been a young woman when the angel Gabriel
appeared unto her. At first she had been “troubled” by being called “highly
favoured” and “blessed … among women … and cast in her mind what manner of
salutation this should be.” Gabriel reassured her that she had nothing to
fear—the news he brought was good. She would “conceive in [her] womb … the Son
of the Highest” and “bring forth a son … [who] shall reign over the house of
Jacob for ever.”
Mary
wondered aloud, “How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?”
The
angel explained but only briefly, affirming to her that “with God nothing [is]
impossible.”
Mary humbly responded that she would do what God asked, without
demanding to know specifics and undoubtedly in spite of having countless
questions about the implications for her life. She committed herself without
exactly understanding why He was asking that of her or how things would work
out. She accepted God’s word unconditionally and in advance,4 with
little knowledge of what lay ahead. With simple trust in God, Mary said, “Behold
the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”5
I, like Mary, “when she cast in her mind what manner of
salutation this should be,” on a much lesser level than what was asked of her
- have been troubled at first when
Heavenly Father asks things of me that I don’t understand as a woman and
mother. Thinking surely, He must be
worried as He sees clearly my weakness and lack of faith or perspective.
I wonder if He can see more in us than we can in ourselves? Perhaps when He is asking us to walk through
difficult things we don’t understand, He is seeing us as His highly favored
daughter, who is blessed among women because of the knowledge and power we have
in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and our covenant promises with Him.
We can all relate to the feelings of fear and discomfort when we
find out a loved one has fallen to a pattern of unwanted behavior that can
cause many consequences and needs support to heal. Our lives can be turned upside down and we
can wonder what hit us.
We want to know the why.
“Why did this happen and how?”
“Why am I the one in pain when it feels so undeserved?” “Why is such a painful thing required of me
and my family when we have tried so hard to get it right?” “Why can’t I find the answers and support I
need?” “Why is there no peace or hope?”
Here is a fact I have come to realize. It seems to be true for almost any pain - if
we want to find peace and hope in the pain of trial and start gaining a growth
perspective that will lead us to healing - we
have to want to find Christ more than we want to find the “Why.”
Mary was able to accept God’s
will in faith because she wanted Him more than she wanted to understand all
the answers. When the angel told her
that with God nothing is impossible, she believed him.
Remember what Elder Clayton taught us that Mary did?
“Mary humbly responded that she would do what God asked, without
demanding to know specifics and undoubtedly in spite of having countless
questions about the implications for her life” …can I/we?
She committed herself without exactly understanding why He was
asking that of her or how things would work out…. can I/we?
She accepted God’s word unconditionally and in advance,4 with
little knowledge of what lay ahead. With simple trust in God, Mary said,
“Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”5
It is beautiful that faith
in our Lord Jesus Christ is the FIRST
principle of the gospel.
Mary wasn’t perfect, but she was the perfect Mortal Mother for
Jesus. She was willing to have faith in
Him first. We’re not perfect, but it’s
important to consider we are the best mortal mothers for our children even with
all our imperfections. And we can follow Mary’s example of believing Christ,
and no matter the storms we are asked to stand in…put our faith in Him first.
Even when, it’s downright
hard sometimes to do this!
Here is the “why” we should fight for this…
“When we decide to do “whatsoever [God] saith unto” us, we
earnestly commit to align our everyday behavior with God’s will. Such simple
acts of faith as studying the scriptures daily, fasting regularly, and praying
with real intent deepen our well of spiritual capacity to meet the demands of
mortality. Over time, simple habits of belief lead to miraculous results. They
transform our faith from a seedling into a dynamic power for good in our lives.
Then, when challenges come our way, our rootedness in Christ provides
steadfastness for our souls. God shores up our weaknesses, increases our joys,
and causes “all things [to] work together for [our] good.”6 Elder L.
Whitney Clayton
May we all follow Mary’s example to accept God’s will and use
our trials, and even questions, to come closer to Christ and let Him work
miracles in our lives.
 |
| I wish you all a very Merry Christmas as you enjoy the Savior’s love this special time of year! |
#LightTheWorld Day 22 and Day 23
LISTEN HERE to our Day 22 #LightTheWorld Podcast: "The War Between Remembering and Forgetting"
"Why do I (or my loved one) forget my important values and do things I will regret later? How do I win this war between remembering and forgetting what matters to me so I can live up to the person I want to be?"
Today’s #LightTheWorld podcast features Maurice Harker, Director of Life Changing Services, discusses personal self mastery and preventing addictive behaviors. Maurice shares tools and techniques to help you make choices consistent with
your values and the covenants you have made to always remember Jesus Christ. For “that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do.” -3 Nephi 27:21
Our mission at Life Changing Services is to provide training and healing for the WHOLE FAMILY when a family member needs instruction to overcome a pornography addiction or other sexual misbehavior. We provide impactful therapeutic programs
for LDS men, women, young men and young women and FREE SUPPORT programs for their family members such as Mothers Who Know and WORTH. Please email us (generaloffice@lifechangingservices.org) or call 1-877-HERO-877 for more information.
…………………
From Alana Gordon:
“Luke spent years trapped in addiction with no hope of ever breaking
free. When he came forward and told me about the years of lies and betrayal, I felt
like I had been ripped from my safe, happy life and thrown into an emotional
prison against my will. I too could not
see how to break free. In the darkest of
hours, it was the Savior’s light, and grace, and love that found us. This is our story…"
LISTEN HERE to our Day 23 #LightTheWorld Podcast: Luke and Alana's Story of Healing After Addiction
"Can adult men really gain mastery over sexual (pornography) addiction? Can marriages recover from severe betrayal trauma?"
Today’s #LightTheWorld podcast features Luke and Alana, leaders and coordinators of Men of Moroni, our self-mastery training program for LDS men. They discuss healing and boundaries after betrayal trauma: the husband and wife experience
different paths of healing on the road toward forsaking, forgiveness and repairing the marriage. Luke discusses Men of Moroni, Alana discusses the WORTH group (FREE therapeutic program for wives looking for healing from a spouses' addiction).
"I was in prison, and ye came unto me" - Matthew 25:36
Our mission at Life Changing Services is to provide training and healing for the WHOLE FAMILY when a family member needs instruction to overcome pornography addiction or sexual misbehavior. We provide impactful therapeutic programs for
LDS men, women, young men and young women and FREE SUPPORT programs for their family members such as Mothers Who Know and WORTH. Please email us (generaloffice@lifechangingservices.org) or call 1-877-HERO-877 for more information.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)