Sons Healing

Young Men's Victory Stories 


"Break free from the chains of immorality; break free from giving in to weakness. go to the light and realize the joy of living a clean and worthy life. The feeling of cleanliness is the greatest that can be felt on this Earth, to know that you can win empowers you to good and to keep fighting, and to never, ever give up."      - Sons of Helaman Warrior -

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Today, I am one of the coolest people I know.  I’m an advanced martial artist, a skilled rock climber, a natural leader, and people and kids who meet me think I’m incredible almost immediately.  I’m a blacksmith, a leather worker, an Eagle Scout, I can build mid-evil war machine in an afternoon using logs, ropes and random paraphernalia in my backyard.  A year ago, I felt like the ugliest scumbag to crawl the earth.
            Looking at me you wouldn’t be able to tell, but I am addicted to pornography and masturbation.   I became an addict at the age of 8.  I knew it was wrong but couldn’t seem to stop.  When I became a teenager and puberty kicked in, it got much worse.  We tried one-on-one counseling and the Church’s 12 step program.  It didn’t work for me.  I suffered from lost battles several times a week and the accompanying guilt and self-loathing smothered my desire to become incredible.
            I finally found help after 8 years of pain in the Sons of Helaman program.  I entered the program at the age of 16 and began to have more frequent success.  I began to gain skills and confidence.  I got a little momentum and then crashed.  I skulked in the mud for a few weeks then got back up and started again.  I made it to Lieutenant and felt great to have 4 weeks under my belt, and then I lost again.
            I went through this cycle for a long time.  I’d be  up and running and I’d make it to 4 weeks and then all of a sudden I’d trip  and grind my face into the asphalt for a few weeks.  I did this for almost 9 months.  I’d have success and I loved going to group every week, and then I’d lose and life would be terrible, especially just before I went to Sons of Helaman every week.
            Then, miracles of miracles, I made it past week 4!  I had momentum!  I felt great!  Life was incredibly good as the calendar turned and Thanksgiving passed.  Christmas was approaching and I was hoping to give Jesus the birthday present of winning.  I became a Captain and was approaching week 9 when I suddenly lost.  I was horrified!  I’d promised Jesus that I would win for him!  I’d broken my promise and I was going to heck.  I analyzed the situation and was ready to move forward when I lost again!
            For the next several months I never got more than 2 weeks.  Frequently I was stuck at week 0, grinding my face into the asphalt and skulking in a mud puddle.  I continued to go to group and I continued to learn.  I would come away each week feeling ready to take on the world.  I gained skills I had never imagined.  I learned how to notice emotions.  I learned to prophesy.  I learned how to gauge how stoned I was or how stoned someone else was.  I learned to truly lead and I really wanted to win.
            Then I began to win.  I had decided to be a freak.  I’d carry index cards with power statements everywhere.  I slept with my limbs tied down and listening to General Conference talks.  I wrote letters to God and to my Future Wife.  I received revelations and studied the scriptures.  I chose to never again be normal or mediocre.
            Summer came and I was Lieutenant again.  I doubled my Border Patrol and made it to week 5.  I went to work at a Cub Scout Camp and dedicated my all to change those kids’ lives.  I made great friends but remained a good freak.  I woke up earlier than I had to.  I listened to Conference Talks when I went to bed.  I complimented young women frequently.  I controlled and changed my emotions frequently.  I became cooler and stronger each passing day.
            Then just as the camp closed for the year, I did it.  I completed 84 days, 12 weeks!  I had become a General!  It had taken me more than a year and a half to do it but I graduated from the Sons of Helaman program.  Since then I have continued to grow and have become much more incredible than I was on August 4, 2012 when I achieved the miracle I had hoped for.  My skills have grown exponentially and I’m preparing to serve a full-time mission in Vancouver, Washington.
            I did it; your son can do it too.  You need to understand that my situation is not what normally happens.  Most boys don’t become addicts until they are 12 or 13 years old and I’ve only met one other person who was addicted before then.  It also usually doesn’t take a young man a year-and-a-half to graduate.  However, I’m grateful that it took me so long to get it right.  If I hadn’t been in the program as long as I was, I never would have learned as much as I did. 
            If your son is stuck in the program, have hope.  He is learning more than average and when he finally gets it, he will become outstanding and incredible.  Continue to help him and stand by his side.  Love him and do your best to let him know that you love him.  Learn all that you can about how you can help him.  When you go to the meetings and use what you’ve learned, it will let him know that you care and want him to succeed.  This will work wonders for your son and he will want to make you happy and proud.  Most of all, trust in God.  He knows all and is teaching your son line upon line and precept upon precept.  When God is done molding him, he will be a miracle worker and a true warrior.  Have faith, have hope, and move forward.  Good will happen.    - Bryton -
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 COMPARING HOW BAD I FELT IN MY ADDICTION TO HOW GOOD IT FELT AFTER I LEARNED HOW TO WIN

BAD:
I know what it feels like to be in the dark and see no light anywhere.
I know what it’s like to not be able to escape the insulting voices in your head.
I know what it feels like to not want to do anything but cry because you don’t know what else to do.
I know what it’s like to hate yourself.
I know what it’s like to wonder why you should even try because a voice in your head will immediately not allow you to enjoy it or even handle it…you’re just too big of a loser.
I know what it feels like to hear satan and his demons laughing at you because you’re so helplessly stuck in their power.
I know what it’s like to not have any control or stability whatsoever in your life.
I know what it feels like to think about ways to kill yourself so you can end all this crap.
I know you it is when the only way to cope with the pain is to purposefully dump deviant chemicals into your system to numb yourself.
I know how it feels to wonder what other excuse to use when the next person asks you “what’s wrong?”, or “Can you come to the temple?”, or “Can you help with the sacrament today?” or “Have you got your mission papers started?” or “shouldn’t you be on a mission?”… “Aren’t you 19 already?”
I know what it feels like to again shake your head “No” to the sacrament tray and wonder who notices you not taking it every week.
I know what it’s like to wonder how you got in this hole, and how are you ever going to get out.
I know what it’s like to doubt everything you once believed in.
I know what it feels like to have so many voices in your head and you don’t know which one is the truth.

GOOD:
I know what it’s like to use warrior chemistry and tell satan to go play in traffic.
I know what it feels like to have power over satan

I know what it’s like to be in control of my life and my thoughts and my feelings and not let some old man influence me.
I know how it is to snipe satan from 300 yards away at the slightest movement he makes in my direction.
I know what it’s like to feel the spirit cleanse me from all the wrong that I’ve done.
I know how it is 5 minutes after losing a battle to know that I am still the man and can look ahead with hope and strength.
I know what it feels like to have the Atonement of Jesus Christ work on my heart and change my desires to what he would have them be.
I know what it’s like to be so confident and happy that my cheeks hurt form smiling so much.
I know what it’s like to experience the most ecstatic joy I’ve ever felt in my life.
I know what it feels like to know that whatever happens today, what every trial comes my way, I can handle it.
I know how it is to wonder why satan even tries to tempt me, it’s worthless.
I know what it feels like to fist pump it with God.
I know what it’s like to talk to a girl and allow myself to just soak in the joy.
I know what it’s like to walk through the mall and have girls check me out, and not even think twice about it.
I know what it’s like to talk to a girl and have a voice in your head tell you; “You’re such a stud.”
I know what it’s like to be prompted by the spirit to talk to someone that needs MY help.
I know how it feels to talk with your Father in Heaven.
                                                                                                                      -Parker-


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Hello, my name is Anthony and I am a General in the Sons of Helaman Program. I used to be heavily addicted to pornography and masturbation and they dictated my drives and desires for years. When I attended my first Sons of Helaman meeting  my outlook on overcoming this addiction was changed forever. This program will teach your son the true nature of his situation. We are at war. There really is an enemy who wants to destroy us and handicap our abilities before we can fully use them to build God's kingdom and raise righteous families. In this program I learned how to shift my brain chemistry from the natural man to a man who is willing to fight tooth and nail for his family. Maurice (the director of the program) taught us how to feel the same way Captain Moroni felt when he raised the Title of Liberty and use that feeling to drive our demons away and conquer the enemy who assails us. I learned how to recognize satanic attacks from a long ways off, hours or even days before he could tempt me to look at porn.                  
      I find great strength in meeting with my fellow warriors. We keep each other accountable and encourage each other to fight harder and in the most effective ways. There is a great support system for your sons in this program. When your son graduates from the program he becomes a General and then focuses his energies on ministering to his fellow warriors whether it be through text, email, or phone calls. Turning around and helping others progress in the fight is one of the greatest things about this program. Ministering to these good men helped me tremendously as I prepared to serve a mission. While I was on my mission I used the skills and understanding I gained in this program to bless peoples lives and help them overcome their sins through Christ. 
     Today I still use every tool I learned in this program not only in remaining clean and worthy, but in how I plan and go about my daily life. I plan every day and invite the Holy Ghost to be with me always. Because of the principles taught in Sons of Helaman I know how to live my life on purpose and become the Man of Christ my Heavenly Father always intended me to be.      -Anthony-


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Hello, 

My name is Spencer and I am a general in the Sons of Helaman program.  My struggle with pornography began when I was about 12 years old.  It wasn't until my high school years that it really took hold of me.  I felt as though I could handle it by myself and that when I got older it would stop on its own.  I had thought that this was only a teenage problem and that adults didn't struggle with this because when you are an adult you are mature and not addicted to pornography.  I began to realize that this problem was far worse among adults than children because the hormones in children are not as strong as those in adults and that I had only started to explore the changes taking place in my body.  So, I felt that I could wait for a little while.  But each succeeding year in high school it got worse and worse.  I felt so alone and helpless.  Even though I had many friends and was well-liked by many people, I could not see the value of their friendship.  I felt that I was different than them because "they didn't struggle with what I was struggling with which made me worse than them in all regards."  I would push away the help that my parents offered me because I didn't want them involved even though all that they did was to help me.  They loved me, but in my heart I couldn't feel it even though deep down I longed for it.  I felt that I could overcome this problem on my own and I didn't want any help.  This is one of the great traps that people who struggle with pornography fall into--they want to be by themselves because they can't stand the pain that it causes them to be around people who are living righteous lives.  Even though I would push everyone away mentally, what I really needed was a friend; someone who wouldn't give up on me.  

I somehow managed to maintain hope that the only way for me to overcome this addiction was to rely on my Savior, Jesus Christ and his atonement.  But I didn't know how to access it.  I tried reading the scriptures and praying every day.  After a little while, my bishop gave me a temple recommend and I went to the temple for a few times.  All of these things helped, but I was still weighed down with guilt and the addiction did not go away.  As the time for my mission drew closer, I increased my efforts on trying to overcome this beast.  When I turned 19 I knew that I could wait no longer.  I needed to get on my mission.  I increased the intensity of my prayers, I read the Book of Mormon every day, I finally humbled myself and gingerly accepted help from my parents.  I worked with my bishop regularly.  I eventually conquered it enough to be clean when I left on my mission.  While I was on my mission, I was nearly completely flawless in maintaining control over my addiction.  After I returned home I thought that I had built a solid enough foundation that I would never fall back into those evil ways again.  For 4 months after I came home, I had zero incidents.  Then Christmas break happened and I had no school and no job.  I had lots of free time.  My old ways started to creep back in and fell again.  But this time the struggle was different.  I never felt as bound by the addiction this time as I did before my mission.  Yet still I needed help to overcome it completely.  I decided that I would try a new tactic.  That is what led me to the Sons of Helaman program.  It was there that I learned how to defend myself against Satan, and to really harness the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.  I view the program as a means to the real end to this addiction which can only come through Jesus Christ.  The biggest help for me was keeping hope that one day, if I didn't give up, I would be free of this addiction.  I am now 20 weeks clean and I am an ordinance worker in the Holy Temple of God.  I know that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real.  It does work.  What I needed to do to make it to this point is to never give up.  I kept moving forward.  Even though I had pushed people away outwardly, especially my parents whenever they offered help, secretly I savored every last piece of love that was offered to me and I value it very highly today. If you are not struggling with pornography, but you know someone who is, don't ever give up on them.  Keep loving them no matter what. So long as you and them don't give up, even in the darkest of nights, remember that in the morning the sun ALWAYS rises to reveal the beautiful morning.  Through Jesus Christ I have been made clean.  It works. Believe it.         - Spencer -


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From a Wife-to-Be of a Sons of Helaman Warrior

I received the following from a young adult woman who is engaged to one of the graduates (Generals) of our Sons of Helaman program.  (In case you are wondering what the young men are learning from our trainings.)

"I just wanted to thank you for all of your efforts towards this wonderful program. Thank you for taking the time to understand and study addictions that are so hard and sensitive to the emotions in a lot of ways.  I am soon marrying ---------- in the Salt Lake temple for time and all eternity in August. Thank you for giving this wonderful Son of God hope, comfort, and the knowledge of how to overcome things that Satan had convinced him he could not. Thank you for seeing his potential and helping him understand that his Heavenly Father was and is still supporting him, gently encouraging him to change and become whole again. Showing him that his Savior is there to help him. Helping him find valiant heroes to model his life around from The Book of Mormon. Thank you for helping him realize that he is not alone. He now can reach out to others and strengthen them because he has walked that lonely path and understands that you are not the only one fighting for truth and righteousness in a chaotic world. You taught him tactics that changed his life, my life, and our families lives forever and counseled him in moments of distress. He is a man full of honor and virtue and has become my personal warrior and defender and most of all my hero. You taught him to defend and protect women. He goes above and beyond to do that. Thank you for giving him the opportunity to shine his light, a light full of righteous power that cannot be hid.

May you be blessed for all you have done.

Full of gratitude,