December 22, 2017

A Christmas Message to all Mothers Who Know

I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas from my home to yours.  How wonderful it would be if I could open my door and invite you in to my entry way with a hug and a heartfelt; “Thank you for coming, Merry Christmas;” and express my love and appreciation for you.”
If this beautiful daydream were to come true and we were to spend some time together, I’m sure at some point I would have the opportunity to show you my favorite holiday decoration…My simple, but awesomely special Nativity.
It is so special to me because each piece has been created and handmade by my husband over the years.  It is unique and one of a kind, made by someone’s hands and heart I appreciate and love very much. 

I would want to pick up the first piece my husband gave me years ago to show you how much I love it.  The figure of Mary cradling baby Jesus in her arms and holding him softly up to her face, so their cheeks were touching is beautiful and so meaningful to me.

Sisters, how often have we done this with our tiny ones.  I’m sure you can recall as I can the special, even sacred feelings of sweet peace and joy that filled your heart and mind as you considered your love and dedication to your child as you held them close to you.
I have often wondered and pondered about Mary, especially at Christmas time.  I try to imagine her experience and feelings as she heard a heavenly angel tell her she was blessed among women and ask her to be the mother of Christ our Savior…her Savior.
My ponderings about Mary were enlarged when Elder L. Whitney Clayton said the following in the April General Conference of this year.  
Mary had been a young woman when the angel Gabriel appeared unto her. At first she had been “troubled” by being called “highly favoured” and “blessed … among women … and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.” Gabriel reassured her that she had nothing to fear—the news he brought was good. She would “conceive in [her] womb … the Son of the Highest” and “bring forth a son … [who] shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever.”
Mary wondered aloud, “How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?”

The angel explained but only briefly, affirming to her that “with God nothing [is] impossible.”
I, like Mary, “when she cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be,” on a much lesser level than what was asked of her -  have been troubled at first when Heavenly Father asks things of me that I don’t understand as a woman and mother.  Thinking surely, He must be worried as He sees clearly my weakness and lack of faith or perspective.
I wonder if He can see more in us than we can in ourselves?  Perhaps when He is asking us to walk through difficult things we don’t understand, He is seeing us as His highly favored daughter, who is blessed among women because of the knowledge and power we have in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and our covenant promises with Him.
We can all relate to the feelings of fear and discomfort when we find out a loved one has fallen to a pattern of unwanted behavior that can cause many consequences and needs support to heal.  Our lives can be turned upside down and we can wonder what hit us.  
We want to know the why.  “Why did this happen and how?”  “Why am I the one in pain when it feels so undeserved?”  “Why is such a painful thing required of me and my family when we have tried so hard to get it right?”  “Why can’t I find the answers and support I need?”  “Why is there no peace or hope?”
Here is a fact I have come to realize.  It seems to be true for almost any pain - if we want to find peace and hope in the pain of trial and start gaining a growth perspective that will lead us to healing - we have to want to find Christ more than we want to find the “Why.”
Mary was able to accept God’s will in faith because she wanted Him more than she wanted to understand all the answers.  When the angel told her that with God nothing is impossible, she believed him.
Remember what Elder Clayton taught us that Mary did? 

“Mary humbly responded that she would do what God asked, without demanding to know specifics and undoubtedly in spite of having countless questions about the implications for her life” …can I/we?

She committed herself without exactly understanding why He was asking that of her or how things would work out…. can I/we?

She accepted God’s word unconditionally and in advance,4 with little knowledge of what lay ahead. With simple trust in God, Mary said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”5

It is beautiful that faith in our Lord Jesus Christ is the FIRST principle of the gospel.  
Mary wasn’t perfect, but she was the perfect Mortal Mother for Jesus.  She was willing to have faith in Him first.  We’re not perfect, but it’s important to consider we are the best mortal mothers for our children even with all our imperfections. And we can follow Mary’s example of believing Christ, and no matter the storms we are asked to stand in…put our faith in Him first.
Even when, it’s downright hard sometimes to do this! 

Here is the “why” we should fight for this…
“When we decide to do “whatsoever [God] saith unto” us, we earnestly commit to align our everyday behavior with God’s will. Such simple acts of faith as studying the scriptures daily, fasting regularly, and praying with real intent deepen our well of spiritual capacity to meet the demands of mortality. Over time, simple habits of belief lead to miraculous results. They transform our faith from a seedling into a dynamic power for good in our lives. Then, when challenges come our way, our rootedness in Christ provides steadfastness for our souls. God shores up our weaknesses, increases our joys, and causes “all things [to] work together for [our] good.”6  Elder L. Whitney Clayton
May we all follow Mary’s example to accept God’s will and use our trials, and even questions, to come closer to Christ and let Him work miracles in our lives.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas as you enjoy the Savior’s love this special time of year!

#LightTheWorld Day 22 and Day 23

LISTEN HERE to our Day 22 #LightTheWorld Podcast: "The War Between Remembering and Forgetting"

"Why do I (or my loved one) forget my important values and do things I will regret later? How do I win this war between remembering and forgetting what matters to me so I can live up to the person I want to be?"

Today’s #LightTheWorld podcast features Maurice Harker, Director of Life Changing Services, discusses personal self mastery and preventing addictive behaviors. Maurice shares tools and techniques to help you make choices consistent with your values and the covenants you have made to always remember Jesus Christ. For “that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do.” -3 Nephi 27:21

Our mission at Life Changing Services is to provide training and healing for the WHOLE FAMILY when a family member needs instruction to overcome a pornography addiction or other sexual misbehavior. We provide impactful therapeutic programs for LDS men, women, young men and young women and FREE SUPPORT programs for their family members such as Mothers Who Know and WORTH. Please email us ( or call 1-877-HERO-877 for more information.


From Alana Gordon: 
“Luke spent years trapped in addiction with no hope of ever breaking free. When he came forward and told me about the years of lies and betrayal, I felt like I had been ripped from my safe, happy life and thrown into an emotional prison against my will.  I too could not see how to break free.  In the darkest of hours, it was the Savior’s light, and grace, and love that found us.  This is our story…"

LISTEN HERE to our Day 23 #LightTheWorld Podcast: Luke and Alana's Story of Healing After Addiction

"Can adult men really gain mastery over sexual (pornography) addiction? Can marriages recover from severe betrayal trauma?"

Today’s #LightTheWorld podcast features Luke and Alana, leaders and coordinators of Men of Moroni, our self-mastery training program for LDS men. They discuss healing and boundaries after betrayal trauma: the husband and wife experience different paths of healing on the road toward forsaking, forgiveness and repairing the marriage. Luke discusses Men of Moroni, Alana discusses the WORTH group (FREE therapeutic program for wives looking for healing from a spouses' addiction).
"I was in prison, and ye came unto me" - Matthew 25:36

Our mission at Life Changing Services is to provide training and healing for the WHOLE FAMILY when a family member needs instruction to overcome pornography addiction or sexual misbehavior. We provide impactful therapeutic programs for LDS men, women, young men and young women and FREE SUPPORT programs for their family members such as Mothers Who Know and WORTH. Please email us ( or call 1-877-HERO-877 for more information.

December 19, 2017

A Christmas Poem

A beautiful Christmas poem from one of our Warrior Moms.  I thought this was so perfect for all of us, I asked for permission to share with all of you.  Kathy graciously agreed. 
To all Mothers Who Know this Christmas season:
A Christmas Message 
Throughout the Christmas season, and the whole year through,
The Savior of the world is calling, out to me and you.
“I’ll lift your heavy burdens, and make them oh so light,
If you will just have faith in me, and try to do what’s right.

“I’ve paved the way for you to go, if you’ll just follow me,
Your willingness to draw me near, will keep you at the tree.
Keep putting on your armor, so your prepared to fight,
For Satan seeks to have you, and he fights, day and night.

You have no need to worry, for I am always here,
Remember God was not the one, who gave the gift of fear.
Your loved ones all around you, were place with so much care,
I’m confident in who you are, and all that you must bear.

Your power mom from head to toe, be sure to use the tools,
For those who don’t, will find themselves, in line with other fools.
Every morning when you rise, fall down upon your knees,
I love the time you talk with me, come visit, will you please?

Open up the scriptures, seek answers to your prayers,
The words of modern prophets, can sweep away your cares.
Take pen in hand and listen well, to where the spirit guides,
For if you do, I promise you, a calm and joyful ride.”
We celebrate the birth of Christ, every single year.
The gift he wants from each of us, he’s spoken oh so clear.
Let’s lay our troubles at his feet, and give our very best.
For then we’ll see things clearly, and we won’t feel so stressed.

Written by
Kathy Foster

December 12, 2017

#LightTheWorld Podcast: We Are Mothers Who Know

#LightTheWorld Podcast: We Are Mothers Who Know

LISTEN HERE to our #LightTheWorld Podcast: “We Are Mothers Who Know”
“Am I the only one who feels worn down by the Adversary’s attacks on my family? Between my kids’ struggles and my own frequent feelings of discouragement, I fear I am failing as a mother. Is there someone I can talk to who can help heal my broken heart?”
In this podcast Karen Broadhead, founder of  Life Changing Services’ parent support group, Mothers Who Know, interviews 12 women who have experienced healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ after various trials and heartaches. They describe the peace and power that come from sharing burdens within a supportive community for “Blessed are they that mourn.” Matthew 5:4
Led by Karen Broadhead, Mothers Who Know began as a support group for women who had a son or daughter battling pornography addiction. Mothers Who Know has now grown into a free online training program for women in all stages and situations who desire to stand strong in the opposition of our day.
Karen Broadhead is a certified Life Changing Services Life Coach, has taught hundreds of students as an Eternal Warriors Mentor with Life Changing Services, and has over 400 hours of class recordings available for free download on the Mothers Who Know blog.
Our mission at Life Changing Services is to provide training and healing for the WHOLE FAMILY when a family member needs instruction to overcome sexual misbehavior. We provide impactful therapeutic programs for LDS men, women, young men and young women and FREE SUPPORT programs for their family members such as Mothers Who Know. Please email us ( or call 1-877-HERO-877 for more information.

October 31, 2017

Laman and Lemuel Perspective

Last week, we had a special visitor at our Stake Conference, Elder Kevin J. Worthen. Elder Worthen grew up in Price, UT and it was a special blessing to learn from him. In the adult session on Saturday night, Elder Worthen shared some thoughts about the Book of Mormon. He said, "One time I read the BOM and had a different perspective on Laman and Lemuel. I realized I was more like them than I wanted to admit."

He went on to give examples of Laman and Lemuel's obedience:
  • Lehi had the vision and moved his family from Jerusalem. Laman and Lemuel went
  • They were asked to go get the plates. They went.
  • They were asked to go get Ishmael's family. They went...a little more willing this time.
  • They were asked to help Nephi build a boat- eventually they helped.
  • They were asked to get on the boat...not knowing if it would float. They went.
One word to describe Laman and Lemuel would be: murmur.
We learn two things about murmuring:
1. Other people don't like it.
2. It hurts you spiritually even more than others.

In 1 Nephi 2:4 we are given more information of why Laman and Lemule murmured. It states Laman and Lemuel murmer because "the Lord maketh known no such things unto them."

Elder Worthen challenged us to step back and look at the big picture when we find ourselves murmuring about our circumstances. The whole purpose of our lives is to make us more like Jesus Christ through our tests and trials. When we forget this we tend to murmur. 

At this point in his talk, I realized I am like Laman and Lemuel: I try to be as obedient as I can to what the Lord has asked of me, but there is one thing I am constantly murmuring about: My marriage. In 2015 I found out that my husband has suffered silently for years with Same Sex Attraction (SSA) along with pornography. Many times I have been carried by Christ and felt peace, but other times I would murmur to Him about how my life wasn't playing out how I planned it should be. How were we supposed to have a "normal" marriage when he, my husband, struggled with these things? There was always a thought that someone tricked me into this. 
When my husband and I were dating, I had an unmistakable feeling that this was right! And in the adult session that night, Heavenly Father blessed me with the reassurance that what I am going though is all part of His eternal plan for me! It was always apart of my plan...and EVERYTHING- including my marriage and family- will be okay!

The following story was shared by a lady earlier in the meeting and Elder Worthen referred back to it. The story gives a beautiful image of what our lives are really like and how merciful, kind, and loving our Heavenly Father is to us, His children. Nothing that happens in our lives is ever a surprise to Him. He sees all and is working on a beautiful picture for us if we will but be patient and trust in Him.

"When I was a little boy, my mother used to embroider a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. I told her that it looked like a mess from where I was. As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat. She would smile at me, look down and gently say, “My son, you go about your playing for a while, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side.”
I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother’s voice say, “Son, come and sit on my knee.”
This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy.
Then Mother would say to me, “My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a pre-drawn plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing.”
Many times through the years I have looked up to my Heavenly Father and said, “Father, what are You doing?” He has answered, “I am embroidering your life.” I say, “But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright?”
The Father seems to tell me, “My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from My side.”
Author Unknown"

I want to finish with my testimony of a loving Father in Heaven and our only true Friend, Jesus Christ. I know Jesus Christ lives! I know He loves me and He loves you. I know He is in the details of my life and your life. The Holy Ghost can bring incomprehensible peace during times of trial and testing. I know that Jesus Christ is the only One who can hush our fears because He knows what we truly need. Because of what we know, have, and are, "There really is no cause for murmuring." Elder Kevin J. Worthen

Together in the fight—
Anonymous Warrior Mom

For more study on this, you can read a talk given by President of BYU Kevin J Worthen given in September 8, 2015 Titled, "Building Character"

May 11, 2016

A Warrior's Mother - The Moments We Stand

A Warrior’s Mother
By Karen Broadhead, Founder of Mothers Who Know:
The parent support group of Sons of Helaman and Daughters of Light.
“They had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.” -Alma 56:47

Farewell My Stripling Warrior
by Del Parson, used by permission

Under Attack:
I’ll never forget the day my son came home from attending his second week in a pornography addiction recovery group. He yelled, “Mom!” from our back entry. As he was not known to do that sort of thing, I worried something had gone wrong at the recovery group. When I came upon him he was bent over, visibly shaking with emotion - trying to compose himself enough to communicate something to me. I stood there waiting and wondering, not knowing whether to be worried or hopeful. Finally, he gave up and with more ferocity and emotion than I had ever seen, he put his hands on my shoulders and said; “Mom, I am not the enemy. I have an enemy and he’s afraid of me. He knows I’m awesome. He’s trying to take me out so I can’t become the man I’m supposed to be. I’m not a pathetic loser! I’m not my enemy…he is! He’s going down!!”

My son was learning to stand.

He was 16 at the time. We discovered his addiction to pornography and masturbation at the age of 13 and were devastated to realize it had been going on for two years. We were afraid when we realized how far things had escalated and were shocked that our noble, good son was in the bonds of addiction. The shame I felt as a mother was overwhelming. I was tormented with thoughts of blaming myself for his addiction. I had so much to learn about my son, myself and especially the power of Jesus Christ.

I was beyond grateful to have found a program that would train my son to “win his battles” and eventually, win the war. I thought my role was to jump in with more intensity than ever and do all “I” could do for him, help him fight by getting completely involved and watching his every move. I can remember asking myself, “What can I do to make sure he doesn’t ever do this again?” I worked really hard to insert my love, my discipline, my encouragement, my new boundaries for him, and my determination that “NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL SAVE THIS BOY!”

We were at war and I was going to make sure he won.  I watched, prayed, bossed him around, checked on him all the time, made charts, developed rewards and consequences. Every time my son fell down in battle, I would beg him to stand back up and keep fighting. In my mind I had to hoist his bruised body on my shoulders and swing his sword (the one I had just sharpened) at every temptation in order to ensure his victory.

The Fall:

I was the mother of a warrior, who was fighting valiantly for his life but because of my lack of knowledge and my great fear of failure, I found it impossible to trust his efforts. It had been devastating to find out my son was in the bonds of addiction; it was debilitating to finally realize that I was powerless to heal him no matter how much I tried. I wondered where God was and why he wasn’t helping us. My belief in the power of the Savior to heal was affected.  

I started writing letters to God, one of the techniques my son had learned in the Sons of Helaman program. I wrote down my concerns, fears, and questions about how to help my son, and when an idea would fill me with peace, I wrote the answer God was whispering. In doing so I remembered something in the spirit: my son already had a Savior, and it wasn’t me. It is God’s job, His work and glory to save, not mine.

I was making it difficult for God to do His work with my son. I was losing hope and confidence in myself AND my son. I began to realize as a "mother who knows," I too had an enemy who was trying to take me out and decrease my confidence. I needed the Savior to save my son and I needed Him to save me from my false thinking and broken heart. I realized I had to get out of the way and start asking how I could help support God in His work with my son.

The Stand:

I approached Maurice Harker, the director of the Sons of Helaman program, in tears that were evidence of my overwhelmed heavy heart. I asked him if I could do anything to help because my “mother energy” was on overdrive and I needed to do something. He put me straight to work on quality control issues in the office but I was terrified to talk to other mothers who had a son in the program. When I did, I found that they were either in such a place of shame and pain that they didn’t know how to talk about their son’s addiction OR they were so happy to have someone to talk to they would go to town and spill it all. The isolation we were all feeling was feeding our shame and pain. I was not the only one who was exhausted...everyone was going through the same thing and life looked sad and scary at their house too. There were others mothers who knew exactly what I was going through! I again approached Maurice and asked to create a support group for mothers/parents, and Mothers Who Know* was born.

The Victory

Being supportive of my warrior looked a lot different than I had thought; it started with my own healing…not with healing my son. It became clear that the best way to support Parker was to let him see that his mother did not doubt God’s power to deliver him. To truly be magnified as a mother, I needed to be filled with God’s love and partake of the grace he freely offered. To me, this meant “staying by the tree” of life at all times where God’s love could change me.

No matter how long it took my son to make it to the tree, I had to stay put and beckon from where I was. I cheered, testified of the Lord's power, and when my son was in battle, pointed him to his Captain and Champion, Jesus Christ. I prayed, I believed. I handed him water bottles, helped him shine up his armor, made sure he was wearing his helmet and then sent him into battle with his God. I praised him for protecting me, manning up and fighting for himself, for me, and for his future wife and family.

I was on the front lines of faith in my son’s battle reminding him that I could do some things for him, but ultimately, God could do all things for him. “Go find God, you can trust Him, He will teach you how to fight, He will teach you how to win, He will change your desires, He will help you carry your burden.”

I feel so privileged to be his mother and to have gone on this journey with him. After years of struggle and fully armed with the tools he acquired in the Sons of Helaman program and a testimony of His Savior, he went on to serve an honorable LDS mission in Peru. He married a wonderful woman whose testimony of the Atonement has been such a gift to our family. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple and have two beautiful children. My son is respectful and protective of his wife and they have open check-ins for her peace of mind. He feels extremely blessed to have been trained with tools to overcome this addiction and even more grateful to have a personal testimony of where healing comes from and how that happened for him.

If you have a son or daughter struggling with addiction or other challenging issues, please know there is always hope. Align yourself with the Savior and focus on fighting your own battles. You will become a stronger, more confident, peaceful warrior mother even as your child heads out to war. In the end, because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, both you and your child will win.

This article was originally posted on the blog: The Moments We Stand.

Mothers Who Know* (formerly Mothers of the Sons of Helaman) provides free education in an online format. In order to stand strong in the opposition of our day, we shine light on the tactics used by the adversary to discourage women and threaten families. We specialize in supporting mothers whose son or daughter is dealing with an addiction, self-destructive behavior or any issue that requires therapeutic intervention.  Read more about Mothers Who Know or the Sons of Helaman/Daughters of Light offered by Life Changing Services. Contact Karen at

A Mothers Who Know original painting by Judy Cooley, created especially for Mothers Who Know.  Available at Altus Fine Art